Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Learning the Exquisite Existence Within You

So this is it, I'm officially a yoga instructor. I can turn you into twisty, bendy positions because I, myself, have contorted into twisty, bendy positions for the past two months and learned how to tell you to do it.

But the two months that I've spent in Austin wasn't just about learning yoga poses. It was so much more than that. It was one of the hardest times and one of the best times I've experienced in my life so far. Some people say yoga teacher training changed them and that they're different now. I disagree. No one changed. Changing isn't something people can do. Instead, we learn. I learn. I was an awesome, amazing person going into Austin, and I'm the same awesome, amazing person coming out- just with more confidence to show it. We grow to understand things whether it's people, relationships, the world, or ourselves. We discover that we're still the same person regardless of whatever emotion we're experiencing and whatever situation we're facing, because all of that- drama, events, whatever- is still outside the realm of our Self. It's like we stand in the very center of a cyclone. We can choose to stick our hands out and get hit by flying debris, or we can simply stay still and watch the world swirl around us, noticing the little things, and smiling because imagine how beautiful it'd be to be in the middle of that twister.

I came out of training stronger, both physically and mentally. Like one wise person told me, "There's taking yourself out of the comfort zone, and there's being forced out of your comfort zone." Going to Austin was the agreement I made with myself to leave my comfort zone. Events occurred where I found myself being forced even further out of that zone. It was tough. I knew real life was waiting for me at home, but I didn't expect real life to hit me full in the face while I was still away.

To comfort me, people kept saying, "When you leap, the net will appear." As I drove away from Austin to go back north, I thought to myself: I've been free-falling from day one. There is no net. The net will never appear. But you know what else will never appear? The ground. The entirety of life is you just free-falling. You might find someone to hold hands with while you fall, or it could look like there's a whole group of people underneath you waiting to catch you. But everyone else is free-falling just as fast and far as you are. And honestly, I rather have that than to land in a net all by myself.

In the midst of my free-falling, I wasn't alone. I had my gorgeous group of yogis and my two phenomenal instructors offering support and wrapping everyone in all their beautiful energy. I had my loved ones back home. I had all the new friends that I made in the most unlikely of places. So in spite of the crazy cyclone I was in, I learned and still am learning the secrets of an exquisite existence. 

So when I interviewed for my first yoga position, they asked me why I said I wanted to get more experience. I told them, "I never stop learning."

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