Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Things You Learn on a Road Trip To Austin

Lessons learned during my twenty hour drive to Austin:
  1. Stop at your boyfriend's place and spend two nights with him. Especially if his place cuts about two hours off your drive. And especially more so if there's an awesome outdoor rock climbing wall and an opportunity for a picnic.
  2. There are no toll roads even though Maps on my iPhone says there is. You lie, Apple, you lie.
  3. Cincinnati does have a very pretty skyline.
  4. Kentucky is surprisingly beautiful.
  5. Driving around the ghetto in Nashville looking for a coffee shop that claims to specialize in local and vegan goods only to find a rundown mechanic shop and a dive bar is scary. Maps was wrong however it redeemed itself by guiding me to the second coffee shop. You lie again, Apple, you lie again.
  6. But stopping in Nashville for coffee and cookies is worth it.
  7. People driving between Nashville and Memphis are stupid.
  8. Though Memphis is about halfway, the coffee and cookie you just had in Nashville will manage to keep you awake for another good four hours.
  9. If you don't like the first rest stop, keep going until you find one you like.
  10. When you're an abductable girl trying to go to the bathroom at a dark and nearly empty rest stop, running back and forth to your car is a good idea.
  11. Arkansas is kind of ugly but has very interesting attractions: Gangster Museum of America and Toltec Mounds State Park for example.
  12. You can drive for four hours in Texas and still be in Texas.
  13. You can run over turtles. 
  14. And it does not feel good.
  15. I'm sorry, beautiful turtle, rest in peace.
  16. You will come across two trucks having a macho standoff by refusing to let the other pass, backing traffic up for miles on a two-lane highway. Thanks guys, guess we all know whose dick is bigger now?
  17. Health Camp is a burger and shake place in Waco. Well done, Texas, I like your style.
  18. Texas has lots of land with nothing on it.
  19. I'm over this drive. Oh hey! I'm here. Alive and kicking.
Thank you all for your well-wishes, blessings, and Namastes. It meant so much to me to get all your love and positivity and I'm completely certain that is exactly why my drive was as easy as it was. Your words buoyed my car across the country! Now... for the hard part...

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